I was born a healthy fifteen pound baby with broad shoulders. (My mom still hasn’t officially forgiven me for this. Legend has it that the magnitude of the screams coming from her mouth during my birth registered a 3.2 on the Richter scale. Apparently, all the expecting mothers that were having their checkups at the hospital that day opted to have cesarean sections).

I am the oldest of five children. (All of whom were significantly easier to birth, I’m reminded). As a youngster, I relentlessly tried persuading my parents to produce four more so we could field an entire baseball team. For some reason they chose not to. I guess it would have been tough for all eleven of us to fit into that one tiny bedroom.

I learned how to draw, and how to love drawing, as a young boy. You see, I had this terrible speech impediment, as well as an inability to spell correctly, so I was forced to use pictures to describe my thoughts and needs to my parents.

I spent a few years playing baseball in college. This is a big accomplishment for me because I’m very similar to Rudy. Not in size… or work ethic… or determination… or perseverance… or heart… Ok, I’m not like Rudy at all. But I did play more than one game, which is something that Rudy can’t say. Take that Rudy, you one play wonder!

I’ve done a lot of traveling in my years, having been to every state except for Alaska. I’m not discriminating; it’s just a little far out of the way. Join the continental U.S. Alaska, it’s warmer down here. I’ll make it to you eventually.

There have been some other memorable events in my life, too. One time I got to ride in a fire truck for my birthday. That was a highlight of my teen years.

As far as my personal life goes, I am currently a single man. Apparently girls aren’t attracted to guys who draw cartoons for fun, or maybe it’s the fact that the love notes I send them are written in crayon.

I’ll let you make the jokes about this one.